Reflections
I was on my way to a 7:00 AM dental cleaning, driving down what used to be a quite 2-lane road, when I realized something. My chest was tight. My head hurt. I was holding my breath! “Breathe!” I reminded myself as I drove down the road. “Just breathe. This will pass.” Our Colorado homestead goes on the market in less than two weeks. Our offer was accepted on our farm in Kentucky. The stress of managing these two enormous transactions is absolutely mind-melting. Mike and I haven’t been under stress this intense and ongoing in quite a while. We’re both in our 50s now, and this whole experience is incredibly exhausting.
• In Colorado, we’ve been engrossed with getting the property ready for sale: Mowing, packing, cleaning, staging, photography. We’ve had vendors in and out of the home most days of each week: Handyman, real estate agent, window washer, dumpster pickup, gopher control, carpeting. You name it, they’ve been here demanding time, energy and money. Don’t forget the endless digital paperwork.
• In Kentucky, we’re wiring money, scheduling quick-turn inspections, booking non-existent hotel rooms (it’s peak leaf peeping season in Red River Gorge), booking rental cars and hopping on 6:00 AM flights to meet agents and crews for inspection and walk-through. Here, too, there is endless digital paperwork.
All of this is set, of course, against the combined thrill, excitement and heartache of uprooting our lives of 25 years in Colorado to resettle 17 hours away in Kentucky. We’re strong people, but this stress is close to breaking point somedays.
My Solution
Not a solution here, but some coping suggestions. I cope with this situation by reminding myself that this is temporary and that all of this chaos and hard work will be worth it. Mike and I are working so hard for a vision that’s been a while in the making. I also lean heavily on Mike, more readily than usual, and have stopped trying to carry so much weight on my own. I stand in awe of God’s grand design for marriage: A man and a woman so fully committed that they walk through fire hand-in-hand without hesitation. As tired and anxious as we both are, we’re complementing each other perfectly through this trial. I couldn’t get through this without Mike, and I’m confident he feels the same about me supporting him. Three times before I reached the dentist’s office, I played Christ Stapleton’s Parachute, because that song really speaks to the road Mike and I are currently on together.
Sun comes up and goes back down
And falling feels like flying till you hit the ground
Say the word and I’ll be there for you
Baby, I will be your parachute
Parachute
Your Key Takeaway
Moving and managing major real estate transactions, especially across state lines, is a deeply exhausting process that can push even the strongest people to their breaking point. The weariness hits your body, mind and soul. The sheer volume of physical and digital tasks, from getting a property ready for sale to scheduling and conducting inspections on a new property, creates intense, ongoing stress. First, remind yourself that the chaos is temporary and that all the hard work is for a worthwhile vision. There’s a reason you’re doing this to yourself. Next, swallow your pride and lean heavily on your spouse and anyone else who is in a position to help. This is a monumental task. Stop being stoic, overly independent or hard-headed and reach out for the hands that can and want to help.